By Al-Amin Isa


When Nigerians talk about corruption, we always imagine it as one big buffet where only politicians eat. But if we’re being honest, the average citizen is not just a spectator at this feast—he’s also serving plates, washing dishes, and packing takeaway. In short, we’ve all been promoted to Assistant Corruption Officers (ACO) without even applying for the job.


Let’s break it down.


Stomach Infrastructure Department


It starts during elections. The same ordinary citizen who swears he wants “change” will happily sell his vote for ₦5,000, a bag of rice, or a sachet of Maggi. By morning, the rice is gone, the Maggi is finished, but the politician you “sold your soul” to is still in office—eating your future for breakfast.


Tribalism and Nepotism Unit


We shout “One Nigeria!” on TV, but in real life, our loyalty stops at our tribe’s border. “He may be a thief, but he’s our thief,” we proudly say. With this mentality, we’re basically running a job placement service for corrupt leaders.


Everyday Bribery Desk


Let’s not even pretend. The civil servant who won’t move a file until you “drop something,” the police officer at the checkpoint looking for “something for weekend,” the teacher selling exam answers—these are not politicians. These are ordinary citizens doing internship in the Ministry of Corruption.


Lawlessness Department


Queue? Which queue? The Nigerian citizen believes rules are for other people. From driving against traffic to refusing to pay NEPA bills, we treat laws like optional subscription packages. Then we turn around and complain when politicians do the same thing with the constitution.


Brain Drain Logistics


Our best doctors, engineers, and academics have turned their passports into one-way tickets. We don’t fix problems—we outsource ourselves. Then from abroad, we log onto Twitter and type, “Nigeria is finished!” with Wi-Fi faster than NEPA light. Congratulations, you’re now the brand ambassador of the very country you ran away from.


National Anthem of Apathy


And when all else fails, we sing our favorite hymn: “Na so we see am.” Silence has become our most reliable contribution to democracy. While politicians misbehave, we shrug, gist about football, and move on. Corruption thrives not just because of bad leaders, but because citizens have turned looking away into a spiritual calling.


The Bitter Truth


Yes, our leaders are greedy. Yes, they carry the lion’s share of blame. But let’s stop pretending the ordinary citizen is innocent. Leaders don’t fall from the sky; they’re picked from the same streets where we’re busy selling votes, breaking laws, and defending “our thief.”


So next time you complain about corruption in Nigeria, check your own CV. You just might find the title: Assistant Corruption Officer (ACO).